I had a terrible dream last night. A rather cruel one, too. I woke up anxious and depressed. I couldn't believe how terrible I had felt. I felt so helpless, so useless, and out of control.
I'll go ahead and share with you what it was.
So, I don't remember everything about the dream, but I remember begging my mom for info. She's my only way to have contact with a person that I dearly care about and I haven't spoken to this person since December, I believe. But this whole dream is about her.
So, I kept begging my mom to let me talk to her, but Mom kept telling me that she hasn't had any sort of response from her. I continued to beg. She showed me that she hasn't responded to any of mom's texts messages or phone calls. They were all read and noted by this person, but no response. I took this as this person's way of saying that she wanted nothing more to do with me. This, of course, was devastating. I couldn't comprehend why she wouldn't want anything to do with me out of the pure blue. It just didn't add up. My tiny, little, teenage mind began to express this dissatisfaction through my writing. The characters I wrote about came alive, by only for a short amount of time before they disappeared.
So, I began to look around on news sources for anything I could find on this person. To my luck, I did! I was so excited! I found a news paper article about her. Apparently the media was praising her because she had took her group of kids on a camping trip. (She's a teacher.) And I thought that was pretty cool and all. There's a gap after that, so I don't remember anything else after that exact moment. After the gap, however, two other people I know and I, all get a text message from my Teacher-Friend. She said that she "needs time to heal" and "not to talk to her until April 28". I forget what else had happened here, but all I could remember was being petrified that I couldn't help her; that I couldn't save her.
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